Pretty zappy title from someone who has been AWOL (That is military for Away With Out Leave) for almost 5 months wouldn't you say? All I can say is thank you to all of my blogging friends and family for your words of encouragement and notes of "just checking in" which truly have made a world of difference to me. So many of you are fighting your own battles that are compared to mine are so much greater. I guess that is why two sisters are better than one. When one falls down, the other picks the other up. Now it is time for me to be a little more of a "picker up" sister.
To be honest a few short months ago I walked through the motions of the start of my new life in a daze feeling like I was not connected to earth and not really knowing how this was all going to work out. The past few months have been an amazing experience on where God continues to show up in the most unexpected ways.
Recapping this past 4 months which followed on the heals of a quite frankly hellish year which included but not limited to a lumpectomy, chemo, radiation and crazy maintenance drugs that I will be on at least for the next almost 4 years, loneliness, feeling crappy, a battle with depression, I am sure you get the picture :) Not fun!
To continue, starting in October, I lost my job, we put our house up in Asheville for sale and left everything that was familiar and moved to Charlotte. Challenges continued as I started reconnecting with my husband and family. Remember I was an AWOL mom, grandma, friend as well as a weekend wife living up in Asheville for almost 3 years. Gary and I did the commute thing for almost 3 years. Things are finally better as I so abruptly invaded not a "man cave" but a "man house" which belonged to Gary. Now I can say the "man house" is now "our house." :)
Next came some insane self afflicted pressure on myself to "get a job" which only made things worse. I continued to sink into a hole and finally reached out to get some professional counseling which gave me permission to chill and give my self some time to heal. That was a great piece of advice and I am happy to report I am feeling much better and slowly regaining momentum.
So what is God up to as His word says that God works all things out to the good for those who love and are called according to his purpose? Well, I for one am not sure, however I am going to name off a few blessings of encouragement that have come my way:
1. I have reconnected with my husband, daughter, son in law, and grand kids on this side of the world. My son and family still live in Seattle so that is a little more difficult. I didn't realize how much I was missing, a 5 year old's birthday party for one!
2. We have been blessed with a smaller house which is much easier to take care of and it is amazing how much of my "stuff" I really don't even need. Life is so much simpler.
3. We have connected with a great church called Elevation in Charlotte and are becoming active. (By the way you can listen on line if you just want an extra blessing in your day.)
4. I am reconnecting and meeting people I never believed possible. As part of my package from the company I received outplacement and have met some wonderful people in some job groups and have learned the powerful tool of linkedin for a professional network tool.
5. Yes, I am also volunteering at Pronet in Charlotte as a job coach since I have a career coaching background and a group called "Dress for Success in Charlotte" helping women with resume, interviewing and how to dress.
6. Friends have introduced me to potential job opportunities so I know the right thing will happen and God does have a job for me exactly where He wants me to be.
I am not going to lie and say things are 100% OK, but I will say they are 100% better than they were in October. I am learning so much. I truly believe God has a purpose and a reason for everything that happens. We may not understand it but to be sure God is for us not against us.
The realization has once again hit that my goodness we are only on the earth for a brief period of time, that goes for all of us cancer, other illnesses or perfectly healthy people. I want to make each day count.
I am inspired, being renewed in spirit and challenged each day to look around, to touch those who come into our lives in a way that lifts up not tear down, to bring hope and show the love of our heavenly Father to a world that sees so much junk.
Yep that is what I am learning. Blessings to you today.
Secure in knowing I am Running the Race with my Lord who picks me up when I fall down, carries me when I can't walk. Luann
8 comments:
YAY! Luann is back! Has it really been FIVE months?? So good to catch up with you today and looking forward to hearing more of your new adventures.
Oh Luann, I am so glad you decided to post! I also can't believe it has been 5 months! I was getting a little worried about you. I know that depression set in for me shortly after I 'finished' treatment. And look how much other stuff you have gone through on top of that!
You continue to inspire me and I am glad that you are doing better. I wrote recently about praying for a long journey and knowing that a long journey will have it ups and it downs, that is the pattern of life. But if we don't do that what are our choices?
God does have great blessings in store for you and I can see that one of his plans for you is to bless others as you do it so easily. Thank you for inspire me to look at my blessings! Glad you are back and hope to hear more from you as you are able.
Love, Deb
Welcome back my friend! I have prayed for you often and thought about you much. Tonight at bible study we were studying ICor4 and the talk turned to the day of judgement... I shared that even though "refinement" sometimes hurts, I would rather be refined now and learn, than someday find out I missed the target. Praying for you as you continue on this journey of healing! Blessings, k.
Thank you Marie and Kim for your vote of confidence. Kim I heard a story of a woman who actually visited a silver smith and was asked the question of when do you know when to stop the fire, he replied "just at the spot where he could see his face on what he was making."
And Debbie, thank you so much for asking if I was still Blogging. Your words kicked me into gear. I would have to say the same thing about you as being an encourager. Hey anyone who says social media doesn't work...well I disagree :) Blessing today gals and thank you!
LuAnn,
I have missed you. You've been through the world and back and it is good -- and hard -- to hear what you've been through between then and now.
So good to hear from you -- to to feel the veil of depression lifting.
Blessings and hugs,
Jody
Luann!!!!!
You're BACK! You don't know how many times I've come here looking for you!
Like Kim said, "refinement" sometimes hurts. You know I'm in that process, once again, since James died. Every day is a roller coaster. I'm leaning on God, friends, church, have seen a counselor and sisters on the Internet, like you. Thank you so much, sweet lady, for your notes about James. So true, that when one of us is down, the others come to our aide.
So happy you're back in one house, and connecting with your community. One day at a time, and let's not put too much pressure on us.
Love, love, love you,
Brenda
Welcome back Luann!
Karen
Hi Luann,
Thanks for sharing with us all. Through our work at the Cancer Support Community, we understand many of the challenges that face women during their breast cancer journey. Unfortunately, evidence shows that most women experience some form of distress or depression due to their cancer, and often times they feel their emotions are misunderstood.
As a survivor and from what you mentioned in this post (i.e. battling with depression), you know firsthand the impact a cancer diagnosis has on women with the disease and their families.
In order to improve the breast cancer experience, we need to understand more about the emotional and social needs of breast cancer survivors. Would you consider joining us and sharing your experiences? We would love to have you join us as part of a national movement of breast cancer survivors.
Learn more and join at www.BreastCancerRegistry.com
Best of luck!
Natalie
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